by Dr. Ken Canfield
What is the world coming to?
I’ve heard that quite often from grandparents for a variety of reasons. Maybe there was a news story about cruel crimes or war atrocities, or maybe the person learned about a dangerous new trend in today’s youth. When was the last time you said something like that?
Maybe it was during the past few weeks leading up to the election. And then, if your preferred candidate didn’t win, maybe that brought on a sense of gloom or even hopelessness. Or maybe you weren’t affected that much by the election results, but you find it very difficult to find reasons for hope through the whole process.
I believe this is an important and serious time in our history, so I hope you exercised your right to vote and you continue to do so. These are not trivial matters. But also recognize where you can likely make more of a difference for future generations.
That’s with your grandkids, of course.
Don’t forget that you can influence them in powerful ways. Keep investing in them in at least these three ways:
Be reliable.
If the world seems crazy to you, your grandkids are surely having some of those thoughts and feelings too. No matter how often you get to see or interact with them, do all you can to create stability for them. Be consistent. Follow through with things you talk about with them—even if you don’t view them as “promises.” In a world that seems to be ever-changing, be steady and predictable in how you relate to them.
Foster open communication.
This one could be a challenge, because as they grow older at least some of your grandkids will likely adopt some views and opinions that are opposed to yours. It might not seem right to let their crazy ideas go uncorrected, but make sure those discussions are cordial and positive. Keep drawing out their ideas and seek to understand their perspective even more than you’re trying to share yours. Did you ever disagree with some of your parents’ and grandparents’ ideas when you were young? You probably understand that some of those opinions and values can change through the years. For now, don’t let them be reasons to have a difficult relationship with your grandchild—or to have no relationship at all. Keep living out what you believe in, and …
Keep loving them.
I believe loving words and actions will have more positive influence than any lecture or teaching attempt, and often love is the key ingredient when we do have those discussions. Even if you have disagreements with your grandkids or their parents, do all you can to keep showing how special they are to you. Be there for them whenever they need you—ready to comfort, give assistance, or just listen.
Grandparents, your example is huge. Keep doing your best, stay positive, and trust that those hugs and conversations and moments with your grandkids are making a difference and helping them gradually make sense of an often-confusing world.
How are you trying to influence your grandkids, and what have you learned in the process? Share your thoughts on our Facebook page here.
