by Dr. Ken Canfield
Do you think of other significant adults in your grandchildren’s lives as teammates?
If you are raising your grandkids, then you probably have many long days when you feel exhausted and lonely. You probably never imagined you’d be in this situation, but if you didn’t step up, who would have? It isn’t an easy life, but giving your grandkids a solid foundation of love and strong values is important enough to make some sacrifices.
This is also relevant for those of us who aren’t raising our grandchildren but want to do all we can to build them up, challenge them, and set them up for success later in life.
As grandparents, we need to rely on each other and on other people who are positive influences on our grandkids. It doesn’t always require a village to raise healthy and responsible children, but it can definitely help.
Maybe your neighborhood was like mine when I was growing up. It seemed like all the adults had an unspoken code where they informally teamed up to pass along information to my parents about whatever I was doing—whether it was good or especially if it was bad.
It usually isn’t the same in most places today, there are other people who are involved in your grandchildren’s lives, who care about them and are investing in their future. Their parents certainly fit into this group—and if they are the ones raising your grandkids, they are probably using this network of other people. That often includes teachers, day care workers, coaches, church youth sponsors, scout leaders, mentors, school counselors, and even parents and grandparents of your grandchildren’s friends.
As a grandparent, you should be getting to know these people and engaging them to ask for their insights and support as you seek to encourage and invest in your grandchildren. View them as valuable teammates, really listen to them, and value what they have to say.
They are with your grandkids in situations you’re not. While your grandchild may be a certain way with you, she may have other sides that come out in other times and places, depending on what she’s doing and who she’s around. Other people will often see the same child, during the same events and others, but from a completely different perspective, based on their different experiences and training. It can be very illuminating when you compare notes or just ask for their opinion.
You may be ultimately responsible for how your grandchild is raised, or you may have a more complementary role. But you can’t be everything or demonstrate every character quality for them. The other adults in their lives bring strengths and successes that can add to what you are providing to your grandchild.
These people are valuable assets in your grandkids’ lives.
They can bring unique gifts and qualities that support and encourage your grandkids in ways that you can’t.
As grandparents, we know that we play an important role, especially if we’re carrying the responsibility of raising our grandkids. We’d all be wise to utilize input from these other team members.
What positive contributions do you see other adults making in your grandkids’ lives? Recognize another “hero” or two on our Facebook page here.
