by Ken Canfield, Ph.D.
You may not wear a clerical collar or lead a congregation, but as a grandparent, you hold a sacred role in your grandchild’s life. In many ways you can be like a chaplain — someone who can speak into their soul, point them toward what matters most, and model what it looks like to live with purpose and conviction.
Parents carry the daily weight of raising children. But grandparents often have something equally powerful: perspective, presence, and the freedom to go deep. You’ve lived long enough to know what lasts. And your grandchildren need to hear it from you.
This is the final article in my seven-part series on building a Grandparenting Skills Portfolio — a framework of four callings to embrace and three challenges to navigate. I’ve explored the callings to be a cheerleader, be a caretaker, and be a coach, along with the challenges of taming criticism, overcoming competition, and navigating being cut off or estranged. Now we arrive at the fourth and most enduring calling: being a chaplain.
Pray With Them and For Them
Nothing shapes a grandchild’s spiritual life quite like knowing that someone is praying for them — and hearing those prayers spoken aloud. When you pray with your grandchild at bedtime, before a meal, or during a hard season, you’re doing more than reciting words. You’re inviting them into a conversation with God and showing them that faith is personal and real.
And when you pray for them — consistently, specifically, by name — you become a quiet advocate for their souls. You may never know this side of heaven how much those prayers matter. But they do.
Tell Your Story
Your grandchildren need to hear how faith has shaped your life — the moments of clarity, the seasons of doubt, and the people who helped you along the way. In age-appropriate ways, share your journey toward knowing and living for Christ. Be honest about the struggles. Let them see that faith isn’t a formula but a relationship that deepens over time.
You might tell them about a mentor who believed in you, a prayer that was answered in an unexpected way, or a season when you held on by a thread. These stories become anchors for them when their own faith is tested.
Pass On What Has Sustained You
Think about the Scriptures, hymns, or songs that have carried you through the hardest chapters of your life. Write down a favorite verse for each grandchild. Play them a song that moves you — and tell them why it matters. These aren’t just words or melodies; they’re lifelines. Passing them along is a gift that can outlive you.
You can also share important family history — including generational patterns, health concerns, or hard-won lessons — so your grandchildren understand where they come from and what to watch for as they build their own lives.
Create Sacred Experiences Together
With your adult children’s blessing, invite your grandchild into a spiritually meaningful experience outside the ordinary. This might be a concert, a retreat, a service project, or a missions trip where you serve others side by side. Shared experiences like these create memories and open the door for deeper conversations afterward.
Serving together — whether at a local food pantry or on a short-term missions trip — teaches your grandchild that faith isn’t just believed. It’s lived.
Live It Out Loud
Perhaps the most powerful thing you can do is simply model what it means to live a life anchored in faith. Let them see you forgive, trust, give generously, and hope even when circumstances are hard. Let them catch you reading Scripture, singing under your breath, or pausing to thank God for small blessings. Your life is the sermon they’ll remember longest.
“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” — Deuteronomy 4:9
You don’t need a title to be a chaplain. You just need a willing heart and a life worth sharing. And the greatest gift you can offer is an introduction to the One who changed your life. Your grandchildren are watching and listening. What will you pass on?
Download an overview of all 7 aspects of the Grandparenting Skills Portfolio here.
What’s one way you’ve tried to invest in your grandchild’s faith or values? What has been most meaningful — for them or for you? Share your experiences on our Facebook page here.
