by Dr. Ken Canfield
I’m a firm believer that we grandparents need to be thinking a step ahead of our grandchildren to help them be their best. In a world that’s changing faster than ever, staying proactive is essential for building those deep, lasting bonds that light up both our lives and theirs. Anticipating their needs allows us to show up as the steady, insightful allies they deserve and will give us opportunities to guide them through a tough phase or celebrate their unique qualities.
What does it mean to think a step ahead? Three things are part of this, each building on our natural role as experienced guides:
Be Aware of Childhood Stages
We need to be aware of some general things about kids as they grow up, so we can anticipate what’s ahead for them. For some, this will come naturally from our years as parents. That hard-won knowledge about what kids typically go through — whether they are three-year-olds with boundless curiosity who have sudden meltdowns, grade-schoolers navigating friendships and homework frustrations, or teenagers grappling with identity and independence — is very valuable as we seek to encourage them, challenge them, and just relate to them.
Picture a toddler’s first defiant “No!” or a middle-schooler’s eyeroll during a family dinner; recognizing these as normal milestones lets us respond with patience and wisdom, turning potential conflicts into opportunities for growth. By drawing on these patterns, we can foresee bumps in the road and provide timely support — either to the child or the parents.
Learn from Others
We can discover new insights from other grandparents and seek out sources of information. It’s always a great idea to gather regularly with like-minded grandparents to support each other and share joys and struggles. Anything you are working through has probably been faced by someone nearby, and talking with him or her will give you a head start.
Similar insights can also come from books, blogs, research studies, and so on. As committed grandparents, we should be hungry to discover new ways to understand and bond with our grandkids, and there’s a growing number of reliable resources out there just for us. I hope you consider Grandkids Matter to be one of those for your grandparenting journey. Diving into a well-researched article on child psychology or a heartfelt blog post from a fellow grandparent can remind us about our important role and reveal strategies that maybe we haven’t considered.
Nurture Unique Gifts
Probably the best strategy here is to notice what’s unique about each grandchild and then initiate things that will help him or her grow and learn. All children are wonderfully made, no matter what their gifts and limitations might be. As grandparents, we can help our grandchildren discover and use that wonderfulness.
How is he gifted?
What natural talent and abilities does she possess?
Can these gifts be expressed in spite of her challenges?
How can I adjust the environment to help her express her talents and abilities?
These are the kinds of questions we should be asking as engaged grandparents. For instance, if one grandchild shows an early knack for drawing, we might set up an art corner for their visits, complete with colorful supplies, and maybe join in to sketch together. Or for a child facing learning hurdles, adapting games to highlight their strengths — like storytelling for a vivid imagination — can turn obstacles into adventures. Any insights we gain will be even better when they lead to some shared activity or connection point between us and our grandkids, whether it’s baking cookies to nurture a budding chef or stargazing to fuel a young dreamer’s wonder.
The better we understand each grandchild, the more we can try to anticipate what’s ahead for them and be ready to love and encourage them each step of the way. By blending our lifelong experience, community wisdom, and personalized attention, we don’t just keep up — we lead with heart, creating memories that echo for generations.
What’s one talent or interest that you’ve helped a grandchild explore recently? You can share tips and learn from other grandparents about these kinds of questions on our Facebook page here.
