by Ken Canfield, Ph.D.
Maybe it was the first time you held one of your grandchildren — that tiny person with so much potential who carries forward your family, your legacy. Maybe it was watching one of them run toward you during a visit, arms wide open. Or maybe it was a quieter moment — a look, a laugh, a hand reaching for yours.
Whatever the moment, the thought hit you — or maybe it was a general feeling you couldn’t put into words. But if you could, it would probably be something like “blessed” or “gift.”
That was the most common response from grandparents when we asked them to describe their feelings in one word: “blessed.” Not tired or busy, but blessed. In a season of life that can bring its share of challenges, most grandparents come back to that core truth.
Psalm 128 confirms that language: “May the Lord bless you …May you live to see your children’s children.”
Being blessed with the privilege of seeing your grandchildren grow is something not everyone gets to experience. And viewing your grandchild as a gift — not an obligation, not a complication, but a genuine blessing — is a distinguishing trait of effective grandparents, even in difficult situations.
When It Isn’t Easy
Almost 15% of grandparents in that same survey painted a much different picture, using words and phrases like “devastated,” “bittersweet,” “guilty,” “sad,” “heartbroken,” “getting a second chance,” and “difficult.” No doubt there’s more to the story in each of those situations.
The grief of losing a grandchild — or losing access to your grandchildren — can be crushing. Watching grandchildren suffer because of their parents’ poor decisions is painful. Carrying the full responsibility of raising grandchildren when you expected to be in a different season of life is often exhausting. Many grandparents are facing real challenges because of family conflicts, estrangement, grief, or distance — and are looking for hope.
Maybe you face some of those struggles, or maybe you feel “devastated” or “sad” for reasons others may not fully understand.
The Power of This Perspective
Whatever your situation, there is uncommon strength in reminding yourself — every day — that your grandchildren are a blessing, a gift.
When you think of your grandchildren as gifts, blessings, sacred treasures, even miracles, the purposes of family life take on deeper meaning. And when you consider how the gift of grandchildren has enhanced your life, it becomes clear that you have much to be grateful for — even when parts of it are hard.
We can’t take anything for granted in our families. But if we can hold onto the perspective that even difficult seasons can carry purpose, then by faith we can trust there’s something greater at work — something worth persevering to discover.
Some Ways to Live This Out
Remind yourself daily. Especially on hard days, speak it out loud if you need to: “My grandchildren are a gift.”
Reach out to another grandparent. Share how blessed you feel — or listen to someone who’s struggling. Sometimes it just helps to hear from someone who understands.
Tell your grandchild. Send a handwritten note to let them know they are a gift to you. Be specific. Make it something they’ll want to keep.
Share your thoughts and experiences on our Facebook page: How have you stayed positive as a grandparent despite difficulties?
