“It didn’t happen unless you post a photo of it on Facebook.”
Not true, of course. But that seems to be the way many people operate in today’s world, where social media has replaced the morning paper, the evening news, and the regular gatherings at the corner café. We can get our news and some social interaction right where we are, on our laptops and smart phones.
This isn’t to say that all social media is evil and we need to abandon it completely. But we should also acknowledge the role social media plays in our lives, which may be bigger than we’re willing to admit. Like any tool, we should handle it with wisdom and balance, and there are implications for us as grandparents.
If you use social media a lot, don’t feel guilty.
Social media provides wonderful ways for grandparents to stay connected and keep up with children, grandchildren, and others. With just a few taps, we can see the latest photos of a new baby, watch a graduation video, or even attend a virtual family reunion from across the country.
It’s one more way to bridge the gap between generations. We can share life updates, offer encouragement to family members, and celebrate milestones from afar—not to mention joining groups and pages that support our interests, whether it’s gardening, faith, caregiving, or being a grandparent. We can connect with other grandparents—friends and others—who share our convictions about the importance of investing in future generations. It can be very encouraging to see evidence of engaged, rewarding grandparenting happening around the world.
… and don’t get discouraged.
We all know that people on social media mostly show others only the best parts of their lives. And some of that is fun; we get to see a friend’s photos from her trip to see her grandkids or someone’s heartfelt reflections on how rewarding it is to be a Papa. Then, maybe we run across an album of best pics from a recent cruise with the grandkids or from a week of fun activities when the grandkids came to visit.
Sometimes sharing other grandparents’ joy can gradually change into wishing we could do the same. But because of limited finances, strained relationships, geographic distance or just our different circumstances, our own stories are much different. For those of us raising our grandkids, day-to-day interactions with our grandkids are far more mundane and not worth sharing with the world. Maybe it’s all we can do to keep moving forward with our children and grandchildren, and that’s the last thing we want to broadcast online.
Here are 3 things to remember:
Social media gives us a partial picture. It shows only what others want us to see, and they’re only showing their best. Feeling a little envy or competition might be natural, but everyone has their share of hidden problems too, and they might be even more challenging than our own.
We all make a difference in our own unique ways. If we can’t make it a habit to take our grandkids on extravagant vacations or treat them to a day at the water park, there are still many ways we invest in them and connect with them—and that matters more than the big, occasional experiences.
We all need connection. For any of us who follow grandparent groups on Facebook and interact with the people there, that can benefit us as grandparents. It’s a good reminder of the importance of our role and can give us a sense of belonging and solidarity. But we need more, ideally from other grandparents we see regularly in person, whether it’s at a church group, a weekly coffee meet-up, a community center, or another organized event. Those kinds of friendships are priceless, so we’d all be wise to take initiative to find and maintain those kinds of groups or relationships.
As grandparents, we have the wisdom to use social media as a helpful supplement—not a substitute—for the real, messy, beautiful work of loving and investing in our grandkids. Let it brighten our days with shared photos and stories, but let’s also be intentional about stepping away from the screen to invest in the moments that truly matter: a hand to hold, a story to read, a cup of coffee shared with fellow grandparents. After all, the richest memories aren’t measured in likes or comments, but in laughter, love, and the time we choose to be fully present.
What positive ways have you found to use social media as a grandparent? Let us and other grandparents know about it at our Facebook page here … but don’t stay there too long. 🙂
