by Dr. Ken Canfield

In an ideal situation, a grandparent’s influence extends across generations—two or three or even more, we hope. Another word for that lasting influence is heritage, and it’s a vital part of who we are and what we do as grandparents. 

Heritage is a building block of critical importance when fulfilling our role as grandparents. 

Our task is to learn about our heritage, if necessary, then identify meaningful events and key family values, add our own stories and wisdom, and then find effective ways to pass the treasure on to our grandchildren. If we’re successful, then our children and grandchildren will carry it forward to future generations and keep that precious and unique heritage alive.

Our heritage starts with our life stories.

These are the experiences of our childhood, adolescence, adulthood and mid-life. Those stories make up the foundation for our grandparenting. Being a faithful steward of our heritage means we have a responsibility to remember and then communicate our life story to our children and grandchildren in the best way possible. What were the most significant life experiences, and how have they influenced and shaped who we are today?

In addition, I believe our children and grandchildren deserve a record of our history, including aspects that are physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. We can write it, create audio or video recordings, or come up with another method, but it’s important that we do this. As has often been said, how can we know where we’re going if we don’t recognize where we’ve come from? Let’s give our children and grandchildren every opportunity to benefit from our memories and experiences.

Where to begin?

Creating such a history or life story may seem overwhelming since there’s so much to say. One family historian suggests that it’s best to start with memories of a fixed point in time, like a significant “first” in your life: the first home you lived in, your first school or learning environment, your relationships to your family members or caregivers, your first work experience, the first time you remember being physically or emotional hurt, your first spiritual awareness, your first success or failure, and so on. Those life experiences helped to define who you were then and who you would later become.

Take those memories or experiences and write a few sentences about each one. Often, after those first few sentences, more and more details and memories will emerge. It might also help to reflect on various sensory information from a particular moment:

  • What did you see?
  • What noises could you hear?
  • Were there any interesting smells you remember?
  • Did you touch or taste anything?

Use your five senses to help you remember, then jot it down. Develop the key points and let the brief narrative flow. Each story will become a building block in your heritage and something precious you can share.

And there’s more …

The stories are useful in revealing insights about the environments in which you lived and perhaps how you were nurtured at various stages of life. Don’t forget to include the critically important aspects of your personality and who you really are—your genetic code, character attributes, and your perspective on life. How did those attributes, combined with early life experiences, impact your heritage? And which of those attributes can you see being replicated in your grandchildren or great-grandchildren?

It’s also appropriate to mention others who have invested in your life, and the wisdom and experiences you gained from them. This can be family members as well as others who have mentored you. A great example of this comes from the bestselling book Tuesdays with Morrie. It’s an account of how a young reporter heard that his aging 78-year-old college professor, Morrie, had a terminal disease and was very likely to die soon. The reporter set up regular Tuesday meetings with Morrie for fourteen weeks, where he hoped to glean from Morrie’s experiences, history and stories, the essence of what he knew about life. The book describes those meetings and the life principles and stories they discussed.

As grandparents, we are like Morrie—although I hope we all have many more years ahead of us. A big difference for us is that our children and grandchildren are not likely to call us and set up regular visits to ask us about our life and soak up our wisdom. That’s rare, and sadly, would almost seem unnatural in today’s world. But we do have opportunities to capture our heritage for others to enjoy and learn from, and we should be ready to talk about it with our grandchildren or anyone else who may ask.

As heritage builders, we must recognize that we can also have a profound influence on other adults and children who aren’t family members, as mentors or grandparent figures. If grandchildren live far away and we see them only occasionally, that shouldn’t stop us from investing in future generations.

How are you capturing and passing on your heritage? What suggestions would you add? Share your ideas on our Facebook page here.