How many of you are seeing less and less of your children and grandchildren? And, when you do get together, the air is filled with tension and terse words.

It may feel natural to start pointing fingers, and many grandparents do. But it only leads to more tension. And with their busy lives as a distraction, it’s easy for your adult children to simply cut off contact except for maybe birthdays and the required holiday visits.

It’s very sad, but sometimes we have to admit that relationships are just difficult, things happen for reasons we can’t control or explain, and sometimes it leads to distance in families.

I know this is difficult for grandparents, but please remember: your response is the key to resolving the problem.

I urge you take ownership. Swallow your pride. Take the lead. Admit mistakes and shortcomings, and seek forgiveness. Go to your son or daughter and humbly ask what you can do to build new bridges of communication.


Jay-Payleitner-typewriterJay Payleitner is a best-selling author of more than a dozen books on fathering and family life, as well as a speaker, and radio producer. Recent books include 52 Things to Pray for Your Kids and What If God Wrote Your Bucket List? He and his wife, Rita, live near Chicago, where they’ve raised five great kids (and now have three grandkids) and have loved on ten foster babies.