by Dr. Ken Canfield

The late J. Allan Petersen, a pioneer in working with families, said this in an interview:

I asked my 14-year-old grandson the other day, “What are grandparents supposed to do?”

“Tell stories,” he quickly replied.

“What kind of stories?” I asked.

“Old ones,” he answered and began to recount a few I had told him earlier. He saw me as a bridge to another era, a simpler life before TV, computers, and satellites.

As you have probably seen, storytelling brings us unique opportunities to influence and connect with our grandkids.

Stories give kids something we all need: a sense of belonging and the feeling of being connected.

When we tell our grandkids about aunts and uncles, cousins and great grandmas, we convey an important message: “You are part of this family.” Uncle James used to hunt elk in the Rockies. Grandma met the First Lady in Texas. Your aunt and uncle eloped when they were teenagers. Grandpa loved to sit out on the back porch and practice his harmonica.

Those memories can help to build your family legacy and provide your grandchildren with a sense of identity. When you tell them about those who have borne their same name—what they were like, how they looked and how they acted—they learn about mistakes to avoid and virtues to emulate. They learn more about their special place in the universe and feel a connection to their history.

Kids are looking for an identity separate from their parents. When we tell our grandkids about when their parents were kids (of course without dishonoring the parents), we can help them see Mom and Dad in a new and positive light. Parents are the ones who often connect the present and the future for their children, but grandparents can strengthen their roots by introducing them to their historical past.

Imagine a five-generation photo of your family, with you being the middle generation. Maybe on one side of you stands your grandmother and your father. Consider all the history and wisdom those two people have. On the other side of you stand your daughter and a grandchild, still full of youth and optimism.

In a sense, you are a bridge between the generations.

What questions do you imagine the younger generations would ask the older ones? What would the older generations want to tell the younger? Getting answers to questions like these will help build your family history.

You may not realize the value of all those memories in your head. Or you may think your family history is rather uneventful. But once you get out the old photo albums, medals, quilts, and other mementos, you’ll start to remember more and more, and the stories and memories you share will one day be treasured by your grandchildren.

I like my friend Judd Swihart’s statement:

Many grandparents have diamonds in their own backyard and do not even recognize them as valuable.

How have you learned the power of telling stories to your grandkids? Leave a comment and interact with other grandparents on our Facebook page here.

This was adapted from Ken Canfield’s book, The Heart of Grandparenting.