by Dr. Ken Canfield
“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.”
That well-known proverb highlights an important part of being a grandparent. For many people, the idea of leaving an inheritance makes them think only of physical wealth and assets. And for some it isn’t a popular notion—it flies in the face of the bumper sticker that says, “I’m spending my grandchildren’s inheritance.” We may smile at that idea for a moment, but there’s an underlying attitude that I hope we all want to avoid.
Is your estate the most important facet of your heritage and your legacy? Probably not. I believe you will bless your grandkids even more through the values, traditions and wisdom that you purposefully pass on to them.
Still, it’s important that we handle that transfer of possessions carefully. There are pitfalls we want to avoid, like discord between family members, endowing children or grandchildren with more resources or more responsibility than they’re prepared to handle, legal headaches, and the list goes on. So here are three key thoughts to keep in mind related to your inheritance:
Establish open communication habits.
That’s a great action point for just about everything, and it’s especially relevant here. When you’re gone someday, one thing you don’t want is for your children and grandchildren to have disagreements about “what grandma/grandpa would want.” So start talking about it now; make it clear while you can. Have conversations about your wishes for your assets—and this can even get very specific about the distribution of resources. Sometimes these family meetings are led by an estate planner.
Most importantly, communicate about your values and beliefs. Help family members understand the underlying ideas that go with your estate decisions. These personal and relational “assets” go far beyond any financial benefits, and you hope they will by your most important legacy.
Make a plan.
Sadly, too many people today—because of laziness or ignorance or whatever—have no plan in place for when they die. So their death becomes not only a reason for grief, but also a huge burden because of money decisions, taxes, and many other details. If you fail to plan your own estate, then your state law kicks in and you have, in effect, lost control over that part of your legacy.
You will spare family members from a lot of trouble and potential conflict if you have all your documents in order. There are various tools to consider, such as wills, trusts, and beneficiary designations. Your assets might include cash, real estate, stocks, and/or valuable collectibles. How and when will your assets be given? Will it be in a lump sum or gradually over time? Will you start gifting your resources in your lifetime or have it all distributed after your death? Make sure it’s all clearly communicated and legally protected. And remember, “fair” does not always mean “equal.”
Consider other material items.
Do you have keepsakes, souvenirs, family heirlooms, and other items of significance that will be part of your estate? Once again, these possessions aren’t the most important part of your heritage, but they can have a profound impact on children and grandchildren. Did you receive anything physical from your grandparents or someone else that holds great meaning for you? Projecting ahead, what similar items do you want to pass on to your grandchildren, and which keepsakes will be meaningful to which grandchildren?
I have two close friends who have very similar stories. Both had grandfathers who left them something very special and valuable—their homes. And for both, the houses they received became a financial base that made it possible for them to go to college and eventually buy a house of their own. Now, as they think about their own heritage, they are looking for similar ways to bless their descendants with physical assets that will help them pursue their own future goals and dreams.
Consider this a gentle reminder. Leaving something positive for our children and grandchildren is a responsibility for all grandparents, and we should be intentional about that. Start making plans to leave a heritage that is rich in many ways.
What would you add? What insights have you learned about estate planning and leaving a material legacy? Interact with other grandparents on our Facebook page here.
