Do your holiday traditions include taking a family photo?
As grandparents, sometimes we like having a good photo of the whole extended family together—all the children, spouses, and especially the grandkids. And in some families that can mean getting fifteen, thirty or in some cases fifty people to stand still and smile for five or ten minutes. If some grandkids are pretty young, you know that can be a challenge.
Thankfully, as grandparents we probably aren’t the ones who have to wrangle them all and plead with them to behave and keep looking at the camera. Still, we feel the tension when one child (or four) won’t behave and his mom or dad starts losing patience.
One grandparent shared an example with us. Twenty-some family members gathered in their nice clothes to take the perfect photo like they did every year. But then … well, kids will be kids.
There were toddler grandkids melting down or running off. Babies were falling asleep or needing a new diaper. An older grandchild had a big mess on his sweater from lunch. Frustration levels soared. The grandparents felt the stress, even as they stood there patiently watching the drama play out. And they couldn’t help wondering:
Is it even worth the hassle?
The thing is, a few days later when everyone saw the photos, no one ever would have known there were all those challenges and tense moments. Everyone looked great! And ten or twenty years from now when they look at that photo, they won’t even remember what that day was like. Those grandparents will just be thinking about their amazing kids and grandkids and how they’ve grown and changed—and wondering where those precious years went.
That’s one example, but there are numerous opportunities for chaos during family gatherings during the holidays. Chances are, you can’t really anticipate it. Maybe you look forward to the “perfect” Christmas meal or evening or outing, but things go wrong. Maybe the grandkids argue and fight. Or maybe your agreed-upon plans to be with your grandkids fall through. Or there’s a blizzard. Or you can’t get in to see the Christmas play. One thing builds on the last, and pretty soon you wonder if it’s even worth it.
Here’s your reminder that Yes, it definitely is worth it.
Think of it like this: In many ways, your grandkids’ memories are like that extended family photo. What they remember about it years from now is surely going to be better than the chaos you may experience sometimes as a grandparent. It might be hard for you to get past the momentary challenges, but do all you can to see the bigger picture.
Learn to expect some messes, disorder and misbehavior. And expect some great time with family this Christmas. Invest yourself one hundred percent in connecting with family members and bringing the meaning of the season home in a powerful way.
When things go wrong—and they will—no need to get overly worried or stressed out. Think about five or ten years in the future, and how you will want your grandkids to remember the holidays with you. Then do your best to smile, keep rolling with the ups and downs, and look forward to the next thing on your schedule.
How have you learned to respond positively to holiday stresses and conflicts? Please share ideas with other grandparents on our Facebook page.
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