NANA’S HOUSE by Teresa Kindred
There are so many grandparents who live far away from their grandchildren and aren’t able to see them very often. My heart goes out to them.
Even though I live near mine and see them almost daily, I know there are so many grandparents who can’t do that, and I can only imagine what that’s like. It has to be especially tough for new grandparents. Who wants to miss out on the excitement of a new grandchild?
I surveyed some grandmothers and asked them for suggestions for staying connected with their grandchildren across the miles. Here are some of their ideas as well as some of my own:
Send Mail
Children of all ages love getting things in the mail. When they’re young, cards with bright colors and pictures of animals are popular. Cards that play music are fun for kids as well. My granddaughter still has one I gave her several years ago on her birthday that plays her favorite song and she still listens to it!
Marlys also recommends letter writing:
We moved away from our granddaughter when she was six. I asked her to be my pen pal. She is now almost 13 and we have kept up this almost lost art of writing letters to one another all these years! It has kept us in touch and made her quite a good letter writer. She has learned cursive and uses a typewriter at times. I believe this has had a positive influence on her life. I also convey many thoughts and much advice, especially now that she is maturing. We talk on the phone and FaceTime, too, but we still continue our letter writing. I’m saving her letters. I hope she is saving mine.
Video Chat
I hope that by now we’ve all learned how to use Skype or FaceTime and other technology to interact with our grandkids when we can’t be there. It’s good for them and a great way to stay connected. Even if a grandchild is an infant, just listening to the sound of your voice will help them get to know you. Sharlene says:
When I lived a distance from my grandson, we loved FaceTime, even if it was 30 minutes of him making faces and showing me things in his room. It was great. One time he propped the phone up so I could watch him play.
Trudie wrote:
My eldest two grandchildren are in Sydney, and I FaceTime them regularly. When they were younger, I even used to listen to them read. It’s not easy but it is possible to keep a good relationship and people have commented on how close we are! It’s still heartbreaking at times but we have to make the best of it!
There are all kinds of creative ideas grandparents use. Some have their grandkids’ parents set up a phone and video stream an entire game or performance, so it really is almost like you’re there watching. Sing them a lullaby or read them a book. Or do other things “together” over the video, as Sue suggests:
A friend bakes with her grandchildren via FaceTime. They choose the recipe, her daughter sends her a copy of it, ingredients are assembled and Nana on one coast and her grandkids on the other coast make the recipe. They all have fun and end up with treats to eat.
Sensitivity & Timing
Learn your grandchild’s schedule and try not to call during nap time or after bedtime. Also find a reliable way to keep track of your grandkids’ events and milestones—birthdays, dance recitals, ballgames, school projects, or whatever. Even if you can’t be there, you can ask about these events to show them that: If it’s important to them, it’s important to you!
Capturing Moments
Use your smartphone to take photos or videos when you are with your grandkids, like to take an updated family photo, capture their first steps or their Halloween costumes. Ask their parents to send you photos or give you access to them on a shared folder online. You can also send them pictures of interesting places or people you encounter day by day.
Traveling Grands
If you’re like many grandparents, in a stage of life with more time and flexibility, it will probably be up to you to travel to see them more often than they visit you. Those trips are great opportunities to renew bonds, make memories, and maybe help care for the grandkids.
Also consider a family trip with the grandkids, with or without their parents. It could be anything from a few nights at a hotel with a water park—which will probably be a real treat for the grandkids—to something more extravagant, like a cruise. There are all sorts of possibilities depending on your budget and everyone’s schedule. Just plan ahead and be as flexible as you can with the details.
Being a grandparent is one of life’s greatest pleasures, but being far away from your grandchildren (especially as a first-time or rookie grandparent) can be a hurdle to that. Stay in touch and stay connected to make the most of it!.
What would you add? What are your best tips for being an involved grandparent from long distance? Please leave a comment at the Grandkids Matter Facebook page here or send me a note at Nanahood.com.
Teresa Kindred is a freelance writer, former teacher, and author of several books, including The Faith-Filled Grandmother. She’s the mom of five grown children and “Nana” to seven precious grandchildren. She and her husband live in Kentucky. Her blog for grandparents is at NanaHood.com.
