by Ken Canfield, Ph.D.
As grandparents, we hold a sacred role in our grandkids’ lives. We can be beacons of unwavering support in a world full of pressures and uncertainties. We’re poised to lift them up with affirmation, praise, and encouragement at every turn.
This is the first in a 7-part series on the Grandparenting Skills Portfolio, where I’ll be highlighting four key callings and three critical challenges for grandparents. I’ll start with the first calling:
Being a cheerleader for our grandchildren.
Our words and actions can have profound impact — and it isn’t about puffing them up with blind optimism, but focusing on the positives to foster resilience, identity, and hope. We want our grandkids to know they’re valued for who they are and face life with confidence and joy.
Here are four ways to embody this cheerleader spirit through intentional, personal encouragement. These are ongoing habits to strengthen bonds and affirm their worth.
Commit to sending affirming messages often.
While verbal praise, emails, and texts matter, let’s also leverage our pre-digital roots with handwritten notes. When was the last time you penned one to each grandchild? If more than six months, try it again. Those notes and letters carry warmth that digital messages can’t match and often become cherished keepsakes for them. For your 11-year-old granddaughter who feels overwhelmed by middle school, a card noting her kind heart could boost her confidence. Start a habit of doing this quarterly (or more) to highlight qualities like creativity or perseverance to reinforce that you’re in their corner.
Step in as a source of reassurance during struggles.
Grandkids face academic setbacks, friendship issues, and personal doubts. What challenges have they faced recently, and how can you reassure them? Share your own stories of growth from failure. If your teenage grandson bombed a sports tryout, send a voice message about one of your stumbles and how it led you to better paths. Also explain that failures aren’t final but part of a bigger plan, and that God is faithful through it all. Help your grandkids build resilience and trust beyond the pain.
Celebrate areas of growth in real time.
As grandparents, we have a different perspective on our grandkids, and we sometimes notice things that their parents might miss or take for granted — like a toddler sharing toys or a middle-schooler acing a math test. Communicate it promptly: face-to-face over ice cream if you can, or via video if you don’t live close. When you notice your 8-year-old grandson mastering guitar, you could say, “Your dedication and patience inspire me!” Such a statement shifts the focus from perfection to progress, and might help motivate him to keep trying.
Affirm their core identity and unique gifts, independent of performance.
In a results-obsessed culture, it’s easy for kids to link their worth to grades or wins. Counter this by sending messages that highlight their inherent worth — who they are, not what they do, and be as specific as you can: “I think you’re great just the way you are, with your infectious laugh and all your thoughtful questions.” Spotlight traits you notice, like empathy or adventure. And if a granddaughter’s drawing skills are overshadowed by a sibling’s sports, try a text that says, “Your art brings beauty — it’s a gift that reflects your creative heart.” Unconditional affirmation helps to ground their self-esteem in lasting truths and affirms their inherent value.
Step into this cheerleader role this week. Draft handwritten notes, reach out to encourage, and affirm their identity beyond their achievements. By weaving these practices into your routine, you’ll not only uplift your grandkids but also model hope in action. Your influence matters — keep cheering!
Download a document highlighting all 7 aspects of the Grandparenting Skills Portfolio here.
Do you consider yourself a cheerleader for your grandkids? How does that look for you? Share your tips and feedback on our Facebook page here.
