As grandparents, we often serve as the most vivid examples of a “mature adult” that our grandchildren will encounter. Maturity, of course, comes with its own set of advantages and challenges. Barring unforeseen tragedies, we naturally grow frailer with time and will likely pass on before our children and grandchildren. Yet, our role extends far beyond simply navigating the physical realities of aging. We are modeling how to face life’s complexities—physical, emotional, and relational—with grace and resilience.
Living a long life means confronting a range of experiences: relationship struggles, emotional wounds, financial hardships, or challenging family dynamics. Our children and grandchildren observe not only how we manage declining health but also how we handle these deeper, often more nuanced trials. They notice our patience in conflict, our forgiveness in the face of betrayal, or our perseverance through loss. These moments of observation become lessons, consciously or not, shaping their understanding of strength and dignity.
Learning Through Observation
Our grandchildren can learn profound lessons by watching us navigate life’s ups and downs. Consider these reflections from adults who witnessed a grandparent’s resilience:
My grandmother, who died when I was a teenager, always taught me what a great example of a godly woman was. She lived a hard life and raised eight kids on her own just by doing odd jobs in the church. I never heard her say a bad thing about anybody, even my grandpa, who cheated and drank and left when my mom was young. My grandmother always was a perfect example of how to live and have faith even in the hard times.
My grandmother literally came over on the boat, alone and as a child, during the war. She had nothing and no one. Through the years she lost a child and a husband, and he fought cancer, but she never gave up. Although not physically strong, she was strong as a woman, strong as a person, and the ultimate example of what a grandmother should be.
These stories highlight how grandparents’ lives, marked by perseverance and grace, leave lasting impressions. By being open—age-appropriately—about the difficulties we’ve faced, we allow our grandchildren to see the true depth of our strength. Sharing stories of overcoming adversity, whether it’s a personal loss, a career setback, or a health challenge, can inspire them to face their own struggles with courage.
The Gift of Vulnerability
Interestingly, our weaknesses can also be a gift. When we allow our grandchildren to see our vulnerabilities, they may recognize their own ability to contribute. A grandchild offering to help with a task, like carrying groceries or reading a letter aloud, not only fosters their sense of responsibility but also deepens our bond. Their willingness to step up affirms that they accept us, frailties and all. These moments of mutual support strengthen relational ties, showing that love and connection thrive in honesty and humility.
For example, a grandparent who openly discusses their challenges with mobility might inspire a grandchild to assist with small tasks, creating a sense of teamwork. Similarly, sharing emotional struggles—like grief over a lost loved one—can encourage a grandchild to offer comfort, perhaps through a heartfelt conversation or a simple hug. These interactions teach empathy and reinforce the value of family
Living Out Your Story
As grandparents, our stories are still unfolding. Each day offers opportunities to model what it means to age gracefully, whether through staying active, pursuing hobbies, or maintaining meaningful relationships. Intentionally demonstrating strength and dignity might involve sharing family traditions, teaching life skills, or simply listening to our grandchildren’s dreams and fears. By living authentically, we show them that aging is not about perfection but about resilience and purpose
Maybe it happens in your storytelling, where you recount lessons learned from past challenges. Maybe it’s through your daily actions—showing patience, practicing gratitude, or facing difficulties with unwavering faith. Whatever your approach, your example will ripple through generations, shaping how your grandchildren face their own journeys.
Stay strong and diligent, no matter your specific situation or stage of life. Your grandchildren are watching, and your legacy of dignity and strength will endure.
How are you intentionally modeling strength and dignity for your grandkids on a day-to-day basis? Share your thoughts and join the discussion on our Facebook page.
This was adapted from Dr. Ken Canfield’s book, The HEART of Grandparenting.
