by Dr. Ken Canfield
There are millions of grandparents who are doing it right. They are making strategic and lasting investments in the lives of their grandchildren. And sometimes, the best way I can communicate that is to just let them tell their stories. I have five examples of this, using comments we have collected.
For me, these are about passing on a positive heritage. We teach our grandkids skills and pass on values. We tell them stories and talk to them about people who have made a difference in our lives. We convey to them that they are connected to the past through us, and we trust them to build on what we have done as they leave their own mark on the world. There is a sense of destiny in that.
We are architects of our heritage. We all have good and bad qualities to work with—some parts shaky ground and some more like a solid foundation. It’s up to each of us to make the most of our situations, with our unique and special grandkids before us.
So how can you leave a strong heritage? Here are some first-hand narratives from grandparents who are putting their past in perspective and doing their best with their own grandkids:
Start with passion.
“I always wondered what kind of grandmother I would be since I never had a grandmother. As I watched my friends pursue other lifestyles and careers, I always wondered why I wasn’t driven like they were. When my first grandbaby was born and I held her close, I realized I was born to be a grandma. It’s what I cherish most in the world. I now have four grandchildren and I treasure every moment with them. I thought I was fierce with my kids, but with my grandkids I am unstoppable. They make me feel like I can do anything.”
Focus on the positive and discover the ways it has impacted you.
“When I was eight, my mother passed away. I had two younger siblings and my mother’s parents took us in. We ended up living in a one-bedroom, one-bath home in Atlanta. Most of us slept on the floor with just a mattress for a bed. Cramped? You bet. But through this experience I knew, by my grandparents’ sacrifice, what love and family meant. They taught us perseverance, stability, tenacity, and of course, love. Today I am a grandmother, proud of my heritage, and want to pass on to my grandchildren the values I have received.”
Build your family heritage with pictures, artifacts and mementos you want to pass on.
“I was not privileged to know any of my grandparents. This has taught me that heritage is important and I need to make sure my grandchildren have some information. I have been collecting pictures and information and placing it on a family Facebook page for them and the rest of the family.”
Identify the virtues you want to pass on and model them accordingly.
“My grandparents died in 1958 when I was only eleven years old. They lived in a two-room house [and] had little income at that time in their lives, but the happiness and warmth that flowed from their home and lives was evident every day. We ate simple foods, played simple games, talked, laughed, hugged and shared our day together. The heritage they left for me and that I want to leave for my grandkids was not monetary, but strength, character, honesty and a love for God and my fellow man.”
“My grandparents taught me that people could disagree and still be friends. Their love was rarely displayed but ever-present. The great lessons I have carried with me [are]: disagree with humor, recycle everything, and love one another. What a legacy.”
Keep family traditions alive.
“My grandmother lost her husband when he turned fifty-one years old—oh, so young. She cherished her children and had family traditions. The favorite was Thanksgiving. All the children and grandchildren would show up and attend church together. After we ate a big dinner with fried green tomatoes, she would read from the Bible. At every meal she would pray, even when we were in public. Guess when she died? It was Thanksgiving Day and we were all together.”
What positive traits and traditions are you trying to carry forward with your grandkids? Celebrate this grand role with others on our Facebook page here.
