By now your grandkids have their new backpacks and class schedules, and they’re off and running into the new school year. But for us grandparents, “back to school” takes on a different meaning. It’s an opportunity for us to go back to school ourselves—not in a classroom with desks and whiteboards, but in the classroom of our grandkids’ lives.
Just like our grandchildren, we need to be lifelong learners. We need to study their ever-changing world to stay connected and be the best possible supporters we can be. This isn’t just about keeping up; it’s about being present, relevant, and an essential part of their lives.
So what’s on the curriculum for a grandparent going “back to school?”
Class 1: The Study of Their Development
Our grandchildren are on a fast track of growth and change, and each stage can feel like a foreign language. The little one who just started kindergarten will soon be tackling first-grade challenges, and the middle-schooler who seems to have it all figured out is navigating a tricky world of social pressures and academic demands. We can’t rely on what we knew from decades ago; we have to learn about the current challenges and milestones they’re facing.
This means learning about what’s typical for a five-, ten-, or fifteen-year-old, and possibly reading up on the unique pressures of today’s youth and the impact of technology. By doing our homework, we can respond with more patience, empathy and encouragement.
Class 2: The Art of Their Interests
Remember when you were a kid and had a passion your own parents just didn’t get? Maybe it was a band, a sport, or a hobby. We need to avoid that same mistake with our grandkids. Their interests are the windows to their world, whether it’s the latest video game, a trending music artist, or a specific type of anime. Taking the time to learn about it shows them that their passions matter to you.
Ask them to teach you. Let them explain the rules of a game or the appeal of a TV show. You’ll learn something new and create an incredible opportunity for connection. When you can talk about the characters in their favorite show or the players on their favorite sports team, you’re not just a grandparent; you’re a teammate. You’re someone who sees and values what they enjoy.
Class 3: The Daily Pulse of Their World
Beyond their interests, it’s crucial to understand their day-to-day lives. What are their friends like? What happens in their classes or on the school bus? These small details, which might seem trivial to us, are the building blocks of their reality. Asking about their day in a way that shows genuine curiosity—not just a perfunctory “How was school?”—can open the door to deeper conversations.
For example, try asking about a specific class they’ve mentioned or an event they were excited about. “How did that history project go?” “Did you get to play with your friend Alex today?” More specific questions show that you were listening before, and they encourage a more detailed response.
Going “back to school” as a grandparent isn’t a one-time assignment. It’s a season of curiosity and intentionality. It’s loving your grandchildren for who they are and for who they’re becoming. It’s investing in those relationships to build connection, trust, and a bond that lasts a lifetime.
It’s also about partnering with their parents with humility and grace. Ask what they need from you and respect the boundaries they set. Offer to help in specific ways—picking up lunch, driving to practice, or being with the kids while their parents attend a teacher conference. And if you disagree about a parenting choice, lead with questions, respect, and a desire to support the family’s goals.
How have you gone “back to school” with your grandkids? What did you try to learn, what surprised you, and how did it change your relationship? Share your insights on our Facebook page here.
