by Ken Canfield, Ph.D.
Sometimes when I’m getting to know someone and they ask what I do, I’ll mention Grandkids Matter and talk a little bit about our work, and they will ask me,
What’s behind that? Why are you trying to help grandparents?
There are numerous reasons, but three come to mind most prominently:
Today’s families are struggling.
We can all see how today’s families face immense challenges, and many are struggling. Over the past 50 years, the fragmentation of the traditional family has prompted an avalanche of negative social consequences, particularly for children. This fallout is most prominent and most painful in urban America.
The rise in violence, the increase of addictive behaviors, the proliferation of unhealthy lifestyles, the lack of commitment in relationships and marriage, and the absence of fathers from the home are some of the most distressing trends. Leaders in every sector of our society are looking for ways to reverse this decline, and, unfortunately, there are no easy and quick solutions.
Yet I believe that renewal can happen as we learn to tap into and leverage an underused resource within the family system. This untapped resource has the potential to generate a long-overdue awakening and provide deep benefits to families. Of course, I’m talking about grandparents.
We need to revive the role of grandparenting.
Some grandparents lack purpose. Their impact has been minimized by many factors, including geographic distance, divorce, lack of a heritage, and failure of the culture to affirm their value. The vital influence of grandparents has been understated and even overlooked for too long.
Some grandparents are discouraged because of the various challenges they face, whether they are due to strained relationships with an adult child, poor choices a grandchild has made, feeling unappreciated, or feeling overwhelmed because they are caring for their grandchildren part-time or full-time. Their grandparenting experience isn’t what they were hoping it would be, or maybe what their friends seem to be enjoying.
Also, research has shown that we grandparents tend to undervalue our influence and what a difference we can make in our grandchildren’s lives.
Grandparents matter.
We do make a difference. When we’re engaged, good things happen. We have so much to offer in terms of unconditional love, well-grounded leadership, relational maturity, transmitting wisdom and values and family heritage, and on and on.
The grandparent-grandchild connection has so much potential for rich experiences and life-giving joy for both generations. For many, there’s nothing as exhilarating as being part of our grandchildren’s lives. When the old and young generations unite, both benefit and thrive. Grandkids matter to us big time, and we want to do our very best for them.
During this time of life when so many people tend to think that their best years are in the past, grandkids can change everything. Our thoughts, feelings and actions are renewed because the gift of grandchildren prompt us to see the meaning and purpose of life in new ways. We understand clearly that our days have an added sense of mission—we’re determined to invest in their future and leave a proud legacy for them and generations to come.
Yes, grandkids matter. And together, as an army of loving grandparents, we can have a tremendous impact on the future of our nation’s families. If we can awaken more grandparents to their God-given role, some incredible things will happen, especially for children. That’s what we’re all about, and I hope you agree and do your part through your everyday commitment to your grandkids.
What keeps you motivated and engaged as a grandparent? Connect with other grandparents on our Facebook page here.
