It’s rewarding to spend time with your grandkids in any and every way possible. And we all know grandparenting, while often very satisfying, is about much more than that. We want to leave a legacy, make a lasting difference, help our grandkids become better people.
There are many ways to do that, and many times the first step to helping our grandchildren reach their highest potential is simply getting to know them better. When we have a better awareness of our grandkids’ personalities, interests, dreams, joys and challenges, we’re more prepared to invest in them in ways that do make a difference.
The number one way to get to know them and better understand them will probably seem obvious, but some of you may not be using it like you could:
1. Simply ask questions.
Go out for a frozen yogurt and ask about her friends at school and what they like to do together. Always be ready with an interesting question about what they like, their hopes and dreams, or “what would you do if …” kinds of questions.
2. Whenever you can, spend time on your grandchild’s turf.
Go to their soccer practice; sit in on a piano lesson; attend their orchestra concerts; go with them to the swimming pool. When you’re around the grandkids, you probably hear them talk about who’s doing what: who hit a triple at the softball game, who did a flip off the high dive, who played the Chopin piece perfectly. You can enjoy their stories, but it’s even better to be there and see it all, and it helps you be a better grandparent. The more you know about your grandchildren, the more you’ll be able to help them cultivate their unique gifts and talents.
3. Provide them with plenty of opportunities to discover those interests and talents.
Chances are, finances are limited and your grandchild might not get to explore some new passion or interest, whether it’s gymnastics or the violin or whatever. Maybe that’s where you can step in and help, assuming his parents approve. And beyond that, maybe you can identify an event or an online resource that will help him learn or grow in that area and experience it together, even if it’s just helping you learn more so you can have a conversation about it.
4. Give feedback, especially when it’s praise.
You don’t have to be an expert in what your grandkids are doing—just tell them you’re proud of their efforts and offer your positive observations. If they see that you’re watching them and interested in what they’re doing, giving them your attention alone is an affirmation. And coming from you, the interest and the positive words will be a big encouragement for them.
5. Listen to your grandchild’s friends, teachers, coaches, and especially their parents.
All these people see a side of your grandchild that you don’t, and in situations where you can’t be. They’ll give you insights you would have never noticed on your own, and it works best when you’re all working together as a team. So ask them lots of questions too!
When you get to know your grandkids even better, you’ll gain valuable insights into who they are, how they think, and what motivates them. And you’ll be better prepared to do what’s best for them.
What would you add? What insights or tips have helped you bond with your grandkids? Share an idea to benefit other grandparents on our Facebook page here.
