by Dr. Ken Canfield
As grandparents, we enjoy spending time with our grandkids, and while the rewards and the warm emotions are strong, I hope all of us can see beyond those. We also want to be grandparents who leave a legacy; we want to make a difference in our grandkids’ lives and make significant contributions to their character and maturity.
How can we do that? I’m a big proponent of grandparents as teachers for our grandkids. We aren’t typically teaching them about school subjects (although many grandparents have opportunities and skills to do that), but rather about life. We’re helping to prepare them for the future and shape who they will be.
Some of this happens while relating to them and talking about everyday events and challenges. But it can also go further than that, and I believe we should be intentional here.
We can create moments of learning and growing for our grandkids.
It’s good when we notice and use teachable moments that happen when we’re with them, but it’s even better if we take more initiative. For example, we might say to a grandchild, “I want to do something special for your mom. Will you help me with that?” Or when we’re with a grandchild at a store or some other public place, we could ask, “Let me know if you see someone here who needs a little help or encouragement. Then we’ll figure out how we can bless that person and make their day a little bit easier.”
When we’re proactive about helping and serving others, that will make an impression on our grandkids. So we can always be looking for those opportunities.
There are also more involved ways to make these kinds of investments. One of the best examples comes from my good friend Dr. Judd Swihart. He hired his three young grandsons to paint an old shed on his property. He says it wasn’t anything close to a professional paint job, but that wasn’t really the main purpose. Judd wanted to give them a task they could accomplish and look on with pride afterward. And that’s exactly what happened.
Another granddad has his teenage grandson come over to mow his lawn every few weeks in the summer. The grass gets cut and Grandpa gets to see his grandson for a few hours on a regular basis. I know some grandmas do the same by asking grandkids to help clean the house or tackle some other project.
Another benefit is that these things they do for us can be early training for the work world, where we can play the role of a benevolent employer. When we’re paying for their help, it makes sense that, like a future boss, we inspect their work and point out any ways they could do it a little better. Again, we aren’t concerned so much about making sure the job gets done perfectly, but rather we’re investing in our grandkids, teaching them how to follow through and do it right. They learn a lesson or two and we put a few extra dollars in their pockets.
Of course, there are similar benefits even if we don’t pay them to help us. I don’t think I was ever paid as a child when I’d help make egg noodles or work on the car with my grandparents.
A lot of learning and bonding can happen when we do projects together.
So maybe even if you don’t need the help and the task might take longer with a young assistant, ask your grandchild to help you with something. Remember, it’s an investment in his or her future, and that’s worth a little bit of trouble.
How are you using these kinds of teaching opportunities with your grandkids? Let us know what works for you at our Facebook page.
This was adapted from Dr. Ken Canfield’s book, The HEART of Grandparenting. Find out more and get your copy here.
