by Dr. Ken Canfield
Recently, my wife and I had the opportunity to stay with some of our grandkids for an extended amount of time. And more than all the fun we had (and the sickness that I caught), what was eye-opening for me was this:
Today’s parents do a lot and go through a lot.
Maybe part of it was that we were with five of our grandkids, which means it was often chaotic and often wonderful, but we were mostly overwhelmed—in generally good ways.
I helped raise five children myself, so how could I forget what that was like? Maybe I was in the middle of the battle and unable to step back and think about what was happening, or maybe during the past few decades I’ve simply forgotten, or I’ve chosen to remember the good times more than the hectic or difficult ones.
I came away with a few insights that might seem obvious, but I hope you’ll appreciate the reminders:
Our grandkids’ parents deserve our admiration and support.
Yes, they go through a lot. We may remember some of what it was like to raise a family, but today’s world is much different. Our grandkids are facing pressures and being exposed to adult challenges at younger and younger ages. So along with the busyness of managing the whole family’s schedules, they’re asked to wade into deep waters with social issues and emotional challenges and moral questions … the list goes on and on.
Maybe more than ever, they need periodic time away from the kids while being able to trust that we’ll be able to handle them for an evening, a few days or a week, and not cause any additional challenges for them to address when they return.
And on a day-to-day basis, we can simply offer our encouragement. In the middle of all they do, hearing a statement like, “You’re doing a great job with the kids” can go a long way. So be looking for things they do that you can affirm and praise. Remember, your grandkids will greatly benefit from having confident, positive-thinking parents, and we can play a role in helping them be that way.
Growing up in today’s world isn’t easy.
Every generation probably says that, and I suppose it’s true because every stage of childhood has its awkward and challenging phases. During my time with our grandkids, one thing was undeniable for me: today’s kids live with screens in their hands or at their disposal, and they aren’t going away. You’ve surely seen it in your grandkids, and there’s probably no point in trying to reverse the trend. If the parents decide to make changes or enforce limits, that’s up to them.
But there are things we can do when we’re with our grandkids. We can suggest and organize more traditional activities that don’t include screens. Do something outside—like taking a walk or going for a picnic. Get out board games they enjoy. Look at photo albums and tell stories. Cook something together. Build a fort or an obstacle course. Play water games. Do a scavenger hunt. Enlist their help with a chore. Teach them gardening. Open their eyes to new possibilities that they can’t find on their phones or tablets.
Grandparents, we do have influence—on our grandkids and their parents. Let’s use it to encourage, bless and inspire.
What insights have you gained about these two areas—finding good activities with your grandkids and encouraging their parents? Please share your wisdom and experience on our Facebook page here.
